The Horrible Blank Page

Welcome.

This is my blog.

Somebody once told me that you don't know what you know until you write it. I am clueless and hoping to shed some light on my own life via this blog. I guess another reason I have decided to write a blog is to maybe connect with people who feel the same as me or who might be in a similar situation.

Here is some details about the situation I am in.

About 10 months ago I left my job working at a Community Centre to pursue a career in the film industry. I had a plan. Make money from the Federal Employment Insurance, Volunteer on as many film and media sets as I could and in about 5 months start freelancing and make a few bucks. Then after my E.I. runs out I will have created enough of a clientele to make a decent living while pushing my career further to eventually win an Academy Award where I would look back on my plan and say something like "I worked hard but I just new this would happen one day."

So 10 months later I am probably more poor now then I have ever been before ever and nobody wants to hire me! My E.I. ends next month (April 19 to be exact) and the reality of my situation is setting in. I am not getting any awards anytime soon. In fact at the end of this month I have told myself that I will start applying to jobs outside the Film Industry so I can have at least a few dollars to pay for silly things like rent and food and heat and a phone.

Am I in a bad place right now? Yes. Yes I am.
Do I feel frustrated and scared and stressed all the time? Yes. Yes I do.
Do I feel like I should give up? Yes. Yes I should.

Will I? No.

I turn 28 years old in 8 days from today. I spent the better part of today staring at my computer screen either flipping between my E-mail accounts hoping that some employer has responded to an application with, at the very least, an offer for interview and a blank page on Final Draft where I want to be writing my first feature length screenplay.
And now I am writing a blog.

The question is:
What have I been doing for ten months?

I mean...I thought I was busy.

Anyhoo. This Blog is not about me complaining (ok maybe a little) but this will be the documentation of my rise into the film industry...or my fall into extreme poverty and mental illness.

(Next time: 27; the age that time forgot!)