The Return!

My birthday cake at work!




Ladies and gentlemen.

I just reread my last post and although every word of that was true...I agree. It was a bit much and maybe not the best place to vomit my anger and sadness. There is a lot of Anger and A lot of sadness in me but I'm making great strides towards being normal again.

It was my Birthday this weekend. YAY!

I turned 29 years old. Do some quick math and you will see that means I'm in my 30th year. WOW! I totally thought I would be someplace else in my life. I suppose this just gives me more time to practice my Oscar acceptance speech.

There are a bunch of things I should make more time for.

- Cooking a meal for myself.
- Saying hi to people on Facebook who I don't speak to.
- Deleting people on Facebook
- Running in the mornings
- Editing these Dawson Videos
- Pant shopping
- writing in this blog

Y'know it's interesting. New years eve was so shitty this year that I just dismissed it. But my birthday is like a new start. It's like a new year by the calendar de la Adam

I saw a rough cut of Dog Sitter a few weekends ago. Jim from Urban Handed Works (USWM Videos) cut the show together. He did it for fun without a script and without knowing anything about the picture. He was pretty close to getting it. I think that means 1) He is an awesome editor and B)I too am awesome. But lets get back to number 1) Jim's awesomeness.

I always imagined myself editing this movie. During the making of the film, I would take a break and walk around the block. During this time I would visualize the entire film from start to finish. This really helped on set because I think I was directing like an editor. I've always liked editing...no LOVED editing. I could sit in front of my computer until I have blisters popping out of my corneas for hours and then pass out from profound dehydration. I would wake up days later not knowing where I am but grateful that little imps have come to save my life.

Where am I going with this...Outline people! Outline!

Oh yeah. So anyways, giving up the power of edit was something that I wasn't prepared to do. Then I saw Jim's work. He was pulling things out of the footage that I didn't see. It was cool. So he is going to continue as editor. I also realized that I'm still a nervous filmmaker. I'm unsure of myself and I'm really hard on myself as a result. So allowing another person to edit actually makes me feel better. I can be creative and give direction and feedback with ease. It's nice to feel a tinge of excitement back again. I'm not out of the woods yet as far as my lack of motivation and depression are going but I do think that getting back to this film is not only important but also strangely therapeutic.

I'm getting the urge to start acknowledging the need for a new script....

Italy and me.

I'm writing this entry from a hotel room in Florence, Italy. I haven't written for such a long time and I don't know why I'm writing now. A lot has happened to me since the last entry.

I guess I was excited to be in Florence because I thought for some reason this trip would make me forget. I'm trying real hard but it is proving to be much more difficult then I expected. Recently, after almost 3 years, my girlfriend broke up with me in, what I feel, is one of the most vicious and coldest ways possible. This has had such a profound impact on me that at times I feel like I am in physical pain. Up until recently I have been defending her. I'm not sure why. She was somebody who I truly loved unconditionally and I guess I needed to find a way to justify her actions to myself. I defended her when others wouldn't but I've come see that I am not as good a judge of character as I wanted to believe. There are no words to fully explain the extent of which I am hurt. I feel like the person I knew and loved has been taken from me and replaced by somebody I don't recognize, somebody with a different moral code. I cant help but feel that somehow I deserved this but I know I'm a good person. What is completely baffling to me is that there is still a large part of me that wants to hold her and say let's put this behind us and move on but the cold reality is that there is no more us.

This is the stuff movies are made of and songs are written about. Maybe bad emo songs but songs nonetheless. This city is beautiful. The kind of place people imagine being with their loved ones. Maybe that's why I'm on the verge of unravel. Then again, I've been on the verge for sometime now. As my heart was broken, my father was told that he has cancer. As I worried for him I found out my apartment might be demolished. As I searched for a home I was pushed further by the pressure of film work being pushed aside and building. I had lost a huge contract and then I lost my iPod. I wanted to run and be with my girl. Alone, I reignited a few bad habits.

Since all of this, there are positive updates; most importantly being that my father has recovered from major surgery (at least he is in recovery and is home and well.) I found my iPod, a contract is being reinstated and my house is just headed for major renovation. But even though this does help, the pain of loosing the love of my life has been a steady near-unbearable source of agony.

Ok ok! quit your whining! What does this have to do with film? Amazingly, this art form that love the most is something I can't bring my self to partake in. The events of the last few months have left me so unmotivated to produce any film work at all. So that's where I am at. I'm in one of the most beautiful cities in the world and all I want is the one thing I can't have. Who says artists need pain to create? I need happiness to be inspired that's who I am. I wish I could finish Dog Sitter but I think I have a lot of healing to do first.

And that's where I'm at.

Click, Click, Click

A whole month without a post?!? What am I? Some kind of animal? How could I be so cruel.

It's amazing just how much filming my short knocked me out! I'm trying to recover but I can't seem to get on top of things. It's crazy!

DOG SITTER UPDATE:

The footage looks great. There was an issue with the shoot in that it was accidentally shot in the wrong format. Nothing that will bring the quality of the shoot down but I have to convert the footage and it's taken the better part of a month to get it done. I haven't even started to edit. I think I would like to have the film completed by May the latest but I still have a lot of work to do. i.e. Editing, Color Correction, Monkey Loads of ADR, sound, music, Titles and credits and then a 35mm transfer. (Just kidding about the last one...but I wish!) All this and on top of it I need to go back with some sort of micro crew to film a few shots we missed.

WHAT ABOUT BLOOD? UPDATE:

This is the educational film about blood and blood donation. This film will be distributed across Canada and as a result, this could quite possible be the film I make that most people will see! The script has been approved and I'm starting on some pre-production in the coming weeks.

NEW PROJECTS UPDATE:

When Dog Sitter is ready to be seen I need to have other projects ready to go in case anybody is interested in me. I think there will be a brief window of opportunity to exploit to further my career and that means I need to start writing yesterday. I have a bunch of exciting ideas I think I would like to write another short during the Christmas break and then get a feature done by mid summer.







WORK WORK WORK:

I know this entry is boring. It's just a list of what I am doing and I think that this kind of parallels my life. This blog is just about work. I watched the movie Click last night. Although this movie was just awful and I only watched it cause it was on t.v. and nothing else good was on, it did ask an important question. How does a person balance between working hard to get ahead and taking time out for family, friends and relaxation.


I imagine that one day when I have a real film career I will have more of an opportunity to spend time with the people I care about. Over the past few months I have been sacrificing my social life to get ahead. With a full time job intruding on the day, my free time after work is filled up with either more work or exhaustion. I really like my day job and if film wasn't a factor I would want to stay here. But sometimes the comfort of a steady paycheck is a comfort that isn't fully appreciated all the time.


I hear that if you want to make it in this industry, you have to bust your ass. I guess I feel that since I am at work all day doing other things than film work I am not busting my ass so I have to make up the time after work. And then after I finish with that I want to relax a bit and that takes me until late at night when I'm too tired to do anything and then I go to bed with not enough sleep. There just isn't enough hours in the day.


I wish I had more time to do things. I wish I didn't feel like I'm constantly compromising. I wish I felt supported more than I am. I wish I had the energy to give more. I wish I had a schedule that worked for me. I wish I could see my friends more. I wish I could see my family more. I wish my girlfriend could understand how I feel, I wish I wasn't such a whiny bitch.


I'm not complaining about how much work I have, more so about what I am missing out on when I'm doing it. I suppose if it was easy it wouldn't be worth all this. Am I going to look back at my life when I'm old and regret the sacrifices I made? Or worse...what if I make all these sacrifices and I end up not reaching my goal and I'm 72 moping up people spilled drinks at the local McDonald's 53 pounds over weight, alone and cold.

What the fuck am I doing?

More Pictures!!

Hi everyone, 

Here are some more pictures.

Kelly and Farah

Kelly

Dusty

Kelly and Dusty

Kelly and Dimitri

Kelly and Dad

The production team.

Emory the sound man.

Special FX RCM style

Some Pictures...

Hope this tides you over...I'll put some more up soon.  

All photos are by cornershopstudios.com  

Kalvin the makeup artist. 

J.S. the Gaffer.

Emmanuelle Francoeur as Kelly

Me giving Emma some direction.

Val: the grip, Faisal: The producer, Roberto: Art Dec

Gabi the Director of Photography with 1st AC Blair.

Bourbon as Dusty

1st AC Blair putting together the camera.

Day 3

How do you rent a trailer at 6:00 in the morning on thanksgiving day?

I could see the budget in my head clicking high like the numbers on a gas pump. The bus driver says: "I'm going to pour water into the radiator and see if it holds. I'll call you back in ten minutes and let you know what's up"

Faisal and I decide to start heading to the first location. It's outdoors so we can shoot it without any equipment if we have to. We get in the car and 20 minutes later the bus driver calls. He says "I'm on the way! I don't know how long it will stay but I'm moving now!" Relief!

Everybody is late today. With only a few hours of sleep, the cast and crew are tired. It's a wonder anybody got up at all. People are so dedicated to their jobs! Even Craft service!! I wanted to mention that The night before, our caterer made a turkey dinner for everyone in honor of Thanksgiving. That is a ridiculous amount of work but WOW!!

We get to the first location of the day. We are shooting behind a high school. What's amazing is that everyday has been beautiful outside. Sunny and warm! The one time we need it to be nice, it rains. And of course, we shoot for 3 hours and when we pack up, the sun comes out and stays sunny the rest of the day.

We got some amazing shots here, some of my favorites so far. Roberto, who is playing a guy getting beaten up (and is also are Art Dec man!) took so many hits to the face (willingly and against my wishes) that he had a swollen face for the day.

We finish at the high school and head to the last location. Everyone is sluggish and moving with anti-gusto. The first shots take hours to set up and now we are late. The issue with this location is we have to be out by 11:00. Not wrapped but packed up and cleared out. I can literally feel every muscle in my back tense. I'm staring at the story boards and shot lists and I'm cutting things left, right and center.

The room we are shooting is supposed to imply cleanliness to a sterile degree so we are shooting in a white room. This was the only place the DP did not see and I clearly made a huge mistake. DP's don't like white rooms. Check, gotcha, in the vault.

Things trudge along. I give myself time limits to complete a series of shots and I'm pushing everybody to go faster. A smile and a thank you go a long way. We keep getting closer to 11:00 and we are pushing along when all of a sudden it hits me; nothing I have shot over the past few days is going to fit. Nothing is going to make sense. OH GOD!!

We break for dinner and I need to get out of the location. I tell Faisal, "I'm going out and I'll be back in about 20 Minutes. Only call me if it's an Emergency."

As I walk around the neighborhood, I feel drained. My movie is going to suck and I just threw away thousands of dollars. I should have just stayed as a 1st AC. This is going to blow so hard!! I can feel myself loosing control and I want to run away.

I find quiet back street. As I'm walking down it, I start to visualize my movie filled with every shot we have done. I am editing the movie in my mind. I'm really concentrating and focused. When it's done I've gone from panic to relief and from relief to excitement. This movie looks pretty cool!

I get back to the location and I'm feeling much better. We get the rest of the film in the can. We push each other and nip at each other and get on each others nerves but we get it done with out anybody taking it personally!

By the time we finish packing up, bringing everything back to the rental house and I finish driving people home, it's some time in the A.M again.

The next day I go to work. I'm a Zombie at best. But every time I feel myself slipping away into sleep or craving my bed, I just think about what I did that weekend.

I directed a movie...That I wrote...and Produced! (Co-produced w/Faisal at the helm)

I'm 28 years old and I can't remember the last time I felt so good about something I worked so hard on.

Next stop: Post production!

Day 2 of production

Day 2 went like this.

I get to the meeting spot early again and notice only one person there today. Everybody else trickles in. Meeting time is for 6:00 and by 6:15 we are still missing a few people. We start making some calls and realize one of the crew just woke up. We figure it will be easier to drive across town to pick her up in my car then to wait. Darn, this means we are late again.

We get to the location and we have two things to do. We have to set up for the dinner scene at a location next door while shooting an outdoor scene. It seems a like everything is going well but a little tension is building. People are tired from yesterday but still, spirits are high.

We manage to get these great dolly shots inside the kitchen and we only break one thing. A clock from the rental house. Oh well...that's why I have a contingency section in the budget. Art dec did feel bad but stuff happens.

After the kitchen shots we head back to the original location and set up for the next scene. The actor in this scene is fantastic. I gave her a lot of freedom to add lines here and there and some of them were gold! I think it's going to be a really funny scene. We all had to cover our mouths a few times to hold back the laughter. Even our lead actor broke character a few times because of the great things we were getting.

The day continues... after lunch things start to slow down. I'm not sure why but we had so much to shoot and we just could not keep up. At one point I find a quiet spot and hide. I'm looking at the story boards and I'm trying to cut out what I absolutely don't need. I have to take a few key scenes and rework them. This is really tough of course because I'm moving things around to make it work but I can't see big picture. I'm staring and staring at these story boards and looking at the script.... I'm sweating. I need to cut some stuff but what?

Finally, it hits me. In fact it came to me in such an exciting wave that I became really pumped to get this new way on film. Less shots and more punch! Perfect. It's great because this is the climax of the film and I was really worried.

Everyone slowly trudges along and we get shot after shot. Then comes time to film the big finale. It involves "something" in the oven and we need smoke. We are basically burning newspaper under the camera to get smoke effects but when it comes time to film the actual oven, we need there to be more. So we make this tin tray and put it in the oven, throw some newspaper in there and light 'er up!

Now let me just say that nobody thought there was much in there. We start rolling. The flames look great on film. The smoke is great. The flames or looking really good, nice and big. Big flames....uh oh....

Now I'm thinking to myself: If I call cut, we won't be able to get the shot, If I keep rolling we risk a fire.... The shot is good so I keep rolling. I can feel the crew staring at me waiting for me to call cut. I'm still rolling....

Finally I call "Cut" and the crew get to work, they drag the tin tray out of the oven and into the sink, smoke fills the house, the fire alarm goes off! Everyone grabs flags and opens all the doors and windows and starts fanning out the house. Oh yeah and it's probably 10:30 at night now so neighbors I'm sure could hear this all and are wondering if they should call the fire department.

After the excitement I decide we need to have a meeting. Things are getting late and we only have this location untill we leave for the night. We have to be elsewhere tomorrow. so I explain we have 2 options. We either Finish shooting tonight what we need or I have to organize another at another time to come back and finish the job. If we finish tonight, it means we won't finish before 1:00 AM. The crew are clearly spent and completly exhausted as am I. The crew talks a bit and come back. They tell me they will stay to fiish the job provided I get some beer and choclate. DONE!

We shoot till about 1:00 AM and start loading up the bus. Now the issue is once we pack up the bus and head back to Montreal, we have to stop by my place and bring everything inside so we can leave the bus outside for the night. Then in the morning pack up the bus all over again and head out to the new location. This blows! I'm thinking about how to avoid this when the bus driver comes to see me. He tells me he is going to just sleep on the bus.

This guy is going to sleep on the bus to save everyone two painfull hours. Maybe cause I was tired or maybe cause I was releived but as soon as he told me that I started to well-up. I could not beleive that he was willing to do this for the production.

we get back to montreal and it's 3:00 in the AM. I drive people home and as I get to my last destibation (Faisal the producers house) I say decide to sleep over which will save me a half hour drive home plus another half hour drive back there in morning. I think I get to sleep around 4:00 am. Faisal is still working on call sheets when I crash. My dreams are even stranger than the night before's.

The next morning I wake up, turn my cell phone on and hear this from the bus driver:
"ADAM!!! I've been trying to call you all night. This is not a joke. we have a huge problem... The radiator from the bus has a huge leak in it. I've been trying to fix it but it just keeps spraying. It's thanksgiving Day at 6:00 AM and I can;t find a mechanic... we may not have a bus today!"


I feel my teeth clench.